I just sent this via The White House website.
Dear Mr President,
I know you're in a dilly of a pickle trying to figure out what to do with Guantanamo Bay, but I believe one of Britain's finest (sic) journalists may hold the answer.
If I can direct you to this link you will begin to understand the absolute anguish that our middle-aged women go through just to get a good barnet these days.
Personally, I found it a tough read and was close to tears, but then it struck me. The Guantanamo detainees could be sent to one of our many hairdressing establishments, given a cut and blow dry, bit of a mental roughing up and admit to the whereabouts of Bin Laden with no lasting psychological effects, and be on their way again with a nice 60s beehive in the time it also takes to paint their nails.
What say you, fine sir?
Yours sincerely,
Jamie Potter
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Fantastic. Does the White House have a policy of replying to all correspondance? I truly hope they do.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, there's also an article doing the rounds from Ms Jones' ex-husband, the poor sod: She's not a total horror, honest, and her middle-class emo wanking puts her in a league of her own.
I need to find a job where reading the Daily Mail isn't a requirement of my duties.